MONEY AND SELF-ESTEEM: WHEN SPENDING BECOMES PERSONAL VALIDATION

Que relación hay entre el dinero y la autoestima, cuando gastar se convierte en validación personal

THE INVISIBLE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WHAT WE HAVE AND WHAT WE VALUE

Talking about money and self-esteem is talking about a deep and often unconscious relationship. From an early age, we learn that certain objects, brands, or lifestyles are associated with success, recognition, and belonging. Thus, little by little, our perception of personal value can become linked to what we own rather than to who we are. This phenomenon is not superficial: psychology has shown that economic decisions are strongly influenced by emotional needs.

When self-esteem is fragile, consumption can become a compensatory tool. Buying something new generates immediate satisfaction, a sense of achievement or control that temporarily boosts mood. However, this effect is usually short-lived. Understanding the connection between money and self-esteem is key to preventing spending from turning into a constant attempt to fill emotional voids.

BUYING TO FEEL BETTER: THE EMOTIONAL REINFORCEMENT OF CONSUMPTION

The brain responds to shopping by releasing dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This mechanism explains why acquiring something desired produces a brief sense of well-being. The problem arises when it is used repeatedly as a strategy to manage stress, insecurity, or sadness. In these cases, money and self-esteem are linked in a cycle in which spending becomes a means of emotional regulation.

Social media has intensified this phenomenon. Constant exposure to idealized lifestyles can generate automatic comparisons and a sense of inadequacy. In response, some people turn to consumption to “keep up.” Recognizing these patterns does not imply blaming oneself, but understanding that behind certain economic decisions there are legitimate emotional needs that deserve attention.

SIGNS THAT CONSUMPTION IS LINKED TO SELF-ESTEEM

There are clear indicators that the relationship between money and self-esteem may be unbalanced. For example, feeling euphoria when buying and guilt shortly afterward, hiding expenses, buying things that are not needed, or experiencing anxiety when unable to consume. These signs suggest that spending is fulfilling an emotional function rather than a practical one.

It is also common for identity to be built around what one has: “I am someone because I have this.” When this happens, any financial difficulty can be experienced as a personal threat. Strengthening self-esteem from other sources—skills, relationships, values, or non-material achievements—helps reduce dependence on consumption as a means of validation.

REBUILDING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY

Improving the relationship between money and self-esteem does not mean stopping enjoying shopping, but doing so consciously. A useful strategy is to incorporate pauses before acquiring something: asking oneself, “Do I need it or do I want it to feel better?” This simple gesture introduces reflection and reduces impulsivity.

Another effective tool is defining personal values. When economic decisions align with what truly matters—well-being, experiences, learning, peace of mind—spending stops being an automatic emotional response. In addition, speaking openly about money in safe environments, such as with friends or professionals, reduces shame and normalizes a necessary conversation.

FINANCIAL WELL-BEING IS ALSO EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

Traditional financial education focuses on budgets, saving, or investing. However, more and more studies highlight that economic health also depends on the relationship between money and self-esteem. Understanding our internal motivations allows us to create sustainable habits without rigidity or guilt.

Practicing self-compassion is essential. All of us have made impulsive economic decisions at some point. The goal is not perfection, but moving toward more conscious management. When self-esteem is strengthened from within, consumption stops being an emotional crutch and becomes a free choice.

PERSONAL VALUE BEYOND THE MATERIAL

Remembering that our value does not depend on our bank account or possessions is a powerful exercise. The market changes, objects wear out, but abilities, connections, and authenticity remain. Cultivating activities that reinforce confidence—sports, creativity, volunteering, or learning—helps consolidate stable self-esteem.

Ultimately, reviewing the relationship between money and self-esteem is an opportunity for personal growth. When we learn to recognize our emotional needs without covering them exclusively with consumption, we build a more solid foundation of well-being. And from there, every economic decision becomes a conscious act of care toward ourselves.